The Truth About Comparison (How to actually face it)
We are all familiar with President Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Even though people know about this very well, they still fail constantly and unless they carefully devise a strong mindset to counter it, they are going to forever be enslaved under the tyranny of their own imaginations. Comparison leaves such a negative impact on your emotions and literally injects a plethora of self-doubt all over your thinking (ultimately killing creativity).
Part of the reason why people fail even when they know about this or pretend to know, is because the act of comparison is a part of our human nature in the most fundamental stages of our character. We default to it naturally from time to time. Many people work very carefully to integrate practices and rituals to reduce the proximity of this nature and the way to formulate such practices comes from developing a mindset towards it.
Humans are naturally inclined to compare themselves to others due to social comparison theory, which suggests that individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. This theory, introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, explains that comparison helps individuals to self-evaluate and understand their standing in a social context. However, this can become detrimental when the comparisons are unrealistic or harmful.
Let’s look at an example of a hypothetical writer, who has written two books in four years and is on the process of writing his third book. Let’s say that in the process of engaging in his creative pursuit, he starts comparing his writings with the famous J.K. Rowling. Every day he would beat himself down for not being as good as J.K. Rowling and eventually, he’ll stop writing and just suffer from emotional pain (which is the consequence of the action of comparison in most cases).
First of all this is crazy! The writer dares to compare himself to somebody who has been writing for over three and a half decades and who’s twice his age (hypothetically). That itself is pride, to compare yourself to somebody like that. And from a position of pride you are simply digging a hole in the hell you are already in and you’ll keep falling into the depths of hell. Where else do you expect to fall into? Start at a place of humility because that might give you a chance to discover paradise. You must find your proper compare groups. You can’t compare yourself to someone who has been writing for as long as your father was alive! That itself shows your ignorance to take ownership of your situation.
The most ideal compare group would be yourself yesterday vs yourself today. That’s sensible, comes from a place of humility, gives you better chances to improve and better outcomes as a result of action, etc. It also saves you from exhausting yourself because all you have to do ever day is to be better than yourself yesterday (which is much more practical than trying to become J.K Rowling with one book). This mindset would clear the clutter, in some real sense and give you the freedom and mental clarity to address areas of improvement with maximum efficiency.
Until next time, stay curious and keep questioning!
Thanks for reading,
Mahi.☕
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An Important Analysis on The Reality of Criticism (And How To Cope)
Criticism is an inevitable aspect of any work. It is a pre-condition to development in some real sense. Human nature often leads us to make judgments, both constructive and otherwise, which we sometimes dump onto others (not everybody, good criticisms do exist). The only way to avoid criticism is to not do any work at all.
So why does criticism affect us so much? In order to provide a compelling argument to that question, I would love to bring up a few essential understandings of the human nature. The idea of narcissism is engraved within our human nature. It is undeniable that we are hopelessly absorbed with ourselves. The nature of narcissism exists in the most fundamental stages of our characters. That’s also what gives life to another needless intellectual complexity, the idea of heroism (surely a topic for a future article). However, many people work very careful to reduce the degree of their narcissism by focusing not to be so self-obsessed.