An Important Analysis on The Reality of Criticism (And How To Cope)
Criticism is an inevitable aspect of any work. It is a pre-condition to development in some real sense. Human nature often leads us to make judgments, both constructive and otherwise, which we sometimes dump onto others (not everybody, good criticisms do exist). The only way to avoid criticism is to not do any work at all.
So why does criticism affect us so much? In order to provide a compelling argument to that question, I would love to bring up a few essential understandings of the human nature. The idea of narcissism is engraved within our human nature. It is undeniable that we are hopelessly absorbed with ourselves. The nature of narcissism exists in the most fundamental stages of our characters. That’s also what gives life to another needless intellectual complexity, the idea of heroism (surely a topic for a future article). However, many people work very careful to reduce the degree of their narcissism by focusing not to be so self-obsessed.
When our plans, decisions and implementations are questioned and criticized, our inner narcissistic nature takes guard over the situation and stands at a position of defense and reasoning. This is one of the main reasons why individuals cannot stand criticism and are deeply troubled by them.
Another key aspect is the fear of vulnerability and shame. Criticism often exposes our flaws and insecurities, putting us in a susceptible position. This fear of exposure further fuels our strong defensive reactions to criticism.
I am reminded of the work done by Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston known for her work on vulnerability, courage, and shame.
In her book "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead," she discusses how our innate desire for acceptance and fear of shame often lead us to shield ourselves from criticism and vulnerability, which can hinder personal growth and development.
Building on this, Brown's research emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability and learning to deal with criticism in constructive ways.1 She argues that by acknowledging our vulnerabilities and embracing imperfection, we can cultivate resilience and foster deeper connections with others. I think that is so important to understand.
Another research from Rhodewalt and Morf 2 examines the self and interpersonal correlates of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), a widely used measure of narcissism. Through a comprehensive review of existing research and their own empirical findings, the authors explore the relationship between narcissism and various personality traits, behaviors, and interpersonal dynamics.
This research gives us more insights into how narcissistic traits interfere with accepting or ignoring (based on what type of criticism) criticism and rather move towards more defensive reactions.
We have countless data and research onto how fear of vulnerability and shame, narcissism and coping mechanisms are holding us back from personal growth and development. Great work always attracts criticism. Some feedback can be transformative, while some may be toxic and should be ignored. The key is rationally assessing each piece of criticism, without emotional reactivity clouding your judgment. Embracing this mindset allows you to extract value from substantive critiques.
So keep creating, keep putting yourself out there - but learn to process feedback through a more impartial, growth-oriented lens. That commitment to handling criticism constructively will propel you forward.
Until next time, stay curious and keep questioning!
Thanks for reading,
Mahi.☕
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https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-03332-006
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-33058-001